quit thinking about yourself

I had an interview with Admiral Mullen last Friday that has stayed with me. While the interview won’t air until the start of March, I wanted to share one thought.
 
Quit thinking about yourself.
 
I cringe to say that to this group.
 
Because, if you raised your right hand and swore an oath to protect and defend our nation, you are amongst the most selfless people in our country.
 
And, from the 300+ interviews I’ve done with BTU, I also know that most of you have difficulty advocating for yourself in the workplace (at least initially).
 
Here’s what shifted my thinking.
 
Most of our audience is in the O-2 to O-6 range.
 
Before I started the recording with Admiral Mullen, he said something to the effect of: I’m not worried about that group. They’ll eventually land on their feet. They have degrees and management experience, it’ll work out in the endI’m more concerned about the E-5 and E-6s.
 
He then shared about a popular tech company he visited in Silicon Valley. He met with their Veterans. There were about 30 of them.
 
All of them were in the O-3 to O-6 range. Not one single enlisted person.
 
Admiral Mullen asked them: Why aren’t there any enlisted here? What are you doing to help out those who propped you up when you were in the military?
 
They didn’t have an answer.
 
I don’t have one either.
 
Here’s what I know.
 
Most of my work with BTU has been about helping individual Veterans succeed in their career.
 
However, I haven’t given enough airtime to something even more important: leadership.
 
Leadership in taking care of oneself and one’s family, but ALSO looking for a way to pay it forward to those who supported us in the military.
 
One of the main reasons I succeeded in the military was the team of incredible enlisted personnel who were exceptional at their job. I would have been lost without them.
 
I've been reflecting, asking myself "What am I doing to give support beyond my officer peer group to the enlisted who make up the overwhelming majority of our military?"
 
Here’s one other thing I know: whenever I feel DEPRESSED, whenever I feel DISCONTENT and CONFUSED, I am ALWAYS thinking about myself.
 
What am I going to do next in MY career?
 
Why didn’t I get that promotion?
 
Why couldn’t that have happened to ME?
 
The moment I shift my focus to contribution, the moment I start to think of others, the volume on those darker feelings starts to mute.
 
It takes me from a place of victimhood to proactivity.
 
I want to get the best job possible, and then use that position to help out those with whom I served.
 
I want to advance my career, so I can pay it forward and help others do the same.
 
It shifts everything.
 
We’re sending out a survey next week.
 
We do this once per year.
 
I need to know what Beyond the Uniform can do to better support you.
 
I need to know what Beyond the Uniform can do to have a bigger impact on the ENTIRE military community.
 
I need to know what isn’t working. I need to know what is.
 
Don’t want to take a survey? Fine – just respond to my email. I read every single one.
 
However, please take a moment to share your perspective and wisdom. It’s the combined wisdom of this group that will take us where we need to go.
 
I’ll also share ideas that Steve and I are thinking about for 2020.
 
We can’t do them all.
 
We need your feedback on knowing which ones we should prioritize.
 
And we need your help figuring out how to keep Beyond the Uniform going.
 
We are collectively in the hole about $15,000, adding ~$150 to that sum every month.
 
We need to cover our costs.
 
We need to find ways to be able to expand, and the shoestring we’re using won’t get us there.
 
So, most importantly: do what you can to help other service members.
 
Secondly important: please take the time to complete our survey next week.